It's finally hit me.

Yes. I've hit that point. It's starting to finally sink in that I'm going and I'm freaking out. So many things to do, so little time. So many things I wanted to do before I left that will just have to wait. This is our last night together (alone). Tomorrow night Daddy B. will be in town. I'm super excited that he's coming, but also disappointed that everything won't be perfect for his arrival. Including having his daughter-in-law (me) running around like a mad woman. I wish that things could be different. That it could actually still be April, and that I could have everything prepared and ready to go. But it's not. I'm not packed, I'm behind in work, I have a million things I want to do and I can't do them all. Basically I need to cut back and prioritize what's most important. I need to take care of my priorities first and then if I have time, do all the other stuff I wanted to do that's not as important. But being the perfectionist that I am sometimes, I refuse to let anything slip, I have this ocd thing about checking everything off my list. When I really think about the things that absolutely have to be done before I leave, there's not that many things. I need to pack. I need to get some cash. I need to check my documents. Even though all the little things I want to do are good things, they aren't the most important. It's more important that I am relaxed and that I enjoy every minute that I have with Matthew...because we won't get to see each other again for a long time. 11 weeks. I feel better now that I've gotten all these thoughts out. But I may still freak out a few more times. I know everything will work out. I just need to calm down. I want Matthew to give me a blessing before I leave on my trip.